


Heimkehr

by issybird



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, comfort doesn't come until chapter 2
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-28
Updated: 2018-09-28
Packaged: 2019-07-18 17:17:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,187
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16123151
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/issybird/pseuds/issybird
Summary: die Heimkehr - homecoming, return, return homeThe Nein find themselves in Blumenthal, and Caleb finds himself walking down memory lane.





	Heimkehr

Going back to Blumenthal was something that Caleb would have preferred to avoid for as long as possible. For five years, he was successful, staying far away from the Zemni fields, from Blumenthal, from Rexxentrum. He’d been safe. It was his own damn fault for not telling the others. 

It wasn't until they were near Blumenthal, when the scenery became more and more familiar, that Caleb figured out where they were. 

"What are we doing over here?" Caleb asked Fjord, the worry in his voice hidden. 

"This is the quickest way to get to Salem. Besides, the sun's starting to set, and I'm sure this place has a tavern we can stay at for the night," he said, glancing over at Caleb before turning his attention back to the road, oblivious to the way Caleb's heart felt like it was about to pound right out of his chest. 

"What's wrong?" Nott asked as he took his place beside her. 

"We are...going to be staying in Blumenthal tonight," he said, and her yellow eyes went wide with understanding. The land around them grew more and more familiar, Caleb's heart jumping up to his throat. It was easy enough for him to cast disguise, ignoring the confused looks of his friends around him as his appearance changed. 

Buildings rose up around them, and it was as if nothing changed at all. He’d been gone for sixteen years, and his hometown still looked the same. There was a lump in his throat as he stood by the end of the cart, taking everything in. 

“Caleb? You comin’?” Fjord asked, holding open the door of the tavern. Caleb cleared his throat. 

“You go on ahead, I am going to take a walk,” he said, and Fjord nodded as he closed the door. Nott had gone on ahead with Beau and Jester, and Caleb was thankful for the silence and privacy as he made his way down the road, deeper into town. 

It felt like time had stopped. There were new buildings here and there, sure, but...everything was the same, overall. His feet took him down a familiar path through the town, and memories flashed through his eyes. Running and laughing with his friends, running errands with his mother, working with his father. 

_“You are going to do great things, my boy,” his father had said with a wide grin, ruffling his hair with his hand._

He had always been so proud.

It wasn’t long before he hit the outskirts of the town proper. Homes dotted the distance, littering the fields, and he kept walking until he hit what he was looking for.  


It was shocking to find it still standing. After sixteen years, the burnt husk of his childhood home should have fallen long ago. And yet, it still stood. Charred, blackened, dilapidated. 

But it stood. 

For a moment, all Caleb could do was stand at the edge of the property and stare, his disguise finally falling. In the back of his mind, he could hear fire roaring and crackling. 

_He was careful as he pushed the cart up to the front door, ignoring the slight tremors in his hands. His parents were traitors. Their kind didn’t deserve life, didn’t deserve a trial. They didn’t even deserve imprisonment._

_He threw out his hand, and the cart caught fire._

_The hay went up quickly, and Caleb watched as it spread to his home. Astrid was at his side, a hand on his shoulder as they watched the home begin to glow. The oil he’d poured onto the floors inside helped it along._

_And then they began to scream._

_His mother, first. High pitched and wailing, a pained shriek that penetrated his heart. His father, just as heart wrenching._

_Caleb was stumbling forward before he could stop himself, something in his mind snapping as he tried grabbing at the cart, fire burning his hands. It didn’t stop him, though. He didn’t stop until Astrid pulled him away, and he realized he could hear someone else screaming. Another moment, and he realized it was himself._

_“We have to get them out! We have to get them out, let go of me!” He wailed, sobbing as he struggled against Astrid’s grasp. Eodwulf joined her, holding Caleb tightly. He couldn’t remember ever sobbing like this before. It came from deep inside of him, agony bleeding through his voice until he was hoarse._

_“Mama! Papa! Let go of me, we have to get them! Please, please!”_

Caleb blinked, inhaling sharply as he was thrust back to the present. His cheeks were wet, tears still rolling silently down his dirt smeared skin as he stared out at the last place he’d considered home. He was nauseous, his stomach rolling, and still he walked forward. 

The cart had nearly burned completely to ash, collapsing in front of the front door. No longer acting as a barricade, he pulled it open, a cloud of ash rising in the air around his feet as he stepped inside. 

His mind was cruel, laying his memories over the house as he looked around. He could see himself at his mother's feet, reading while she stitched up his father’s cloak. In the kitchen, he was helping her as she cooked dinner, stoking the fire and babbling on about whatever book he’d read that day. She was always so kind, so patient. So damn proud of him. 

His feet continued carrying him forward, wood cracking softly beneath him. His parents room. He and his mother had surprised his father on his birthday with a cake. That was when Caleb had begun learning magic, and he’d been so happy to cast his orbs of light and have them dance around the ceiling. His father had laughed joyously, gathering him up in his arms and hugging him tightly. Caleb had to blink back tears. 

His own room. He remembered being so nervous the day before he left for the Academy. His parents had sat on his bed on either side of them, his mother holding his hand, his father setting a hand on his back. 

_“What if I cannot do well?” Caleb asked, staring down at where his hands were clasped together in his lap. “What if the classes are too hard for me and they kick me out?” He couldn’t bear the thought of disappointing everyone. The whole town had been so pleased when he and Astrid and Eodwulf had been chosen. If he were to return home alone…_

_“Oh sweetheart,” his mother whispered and she shifted, wrapping her arms around him in a tight hug. He swallowed against the sudden lump in his throat as she stroked her hand over his hair._

_“You have always been such a bright young man. You are strong, and talented, and so powerful,” she said. “You are going to do great, fantastic things someday, Caleb, I just know it.”_

_“You are going to change the world.”_

Surrounded by ash and memories of lives long gone, Caleb fell to his knees and curled up on the ground. For the first time in sixteen years, he let himself grieve.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading! This is the first fanfiction I've written for Critical Role, and I am not surprised at all that it was for Caleb. I always find myself drawn to the characters who have been through hell and back, and his backstory caught my attention the moment I heard it. Thank you to Liam O'Brien for making such a lovely character.


End file.
